Day 1

9:03:00 PM Atticus Army 4 Comments



To Atticus's Army:


Our sweet precious Atticus came into this world 20 months ago and has been an absolute joy and treasure to our family. He is a happy easy-going baby that loves to be outside, throwing and playing with balls, loves stuffed animals and is obsessed with balloons (which he calls “moons”)!

A few months ago we noticed some changes in our sweet boy. After several visits to the pediatrician in May, they determined that he had contracted viral meningitis. Atticus was very sick for about two weeks. He started to feel better and about mid-July we headed to Disneyland for a much-needed family vacation. Shortly after, he was diagnosed with hand, foot, and mouth disease and was ill again for 10 days. He didn’t seem to be getting better, in fact, he seemed to be getting worse. He was vomiting, irritable and had a high fever. The doctors wanted us to take him into the Emergency Room; they were concerned he had contracted hydrocephalus!
The ER determined that he had a GI infection and sent us home with meds. Exhausted, downtrodden and miserable, our family moved the next day to Pullman, Washington to finish Atticus's Daddy's Veterinary Medicine Schooling at WSU.

We arrived in Pullman and our dear Atticus just did not seem to be improving as he should. His whole personality was changing. He wasn’t sleeping, eating or drinking, he was uncomfortable most the time and would whine or cry most the day. We were desperate to make our baby comfortable in whatever way we could. We determined that Atticus should see the best doctor we could find in Pullman.

Daddy took him into the doctor and explained what our family has been going through with poor Atticus. Our doctor ordered Atticus an MRI, which was scheduled for the following week. Atticus would need to be sedated by IV to make sure he was completely still for the imaging.

Friday August 26th, 2016

We arrived at the Pullman Regional Hospital for his MRI at 7 AM.  They took us back to our own room and took his weight and height. He weighs 24 lbs. now, which is about 3.5 pounds less than he weighed 3 months ago. The nurse brought in his little tiger gown and a warm hospital blanket to wrap around him to help him feel comfortable and calm. The anesthesiologist came in and told us he was a grandpa, which was comforting! He explained what was going to happen during the procedure; he would first administer a drug that is a nasal spray to relax him. Atticus was uneasy and emotional. We didn’t blame him! The anesthesiologist explained that after Atticus was relaxed he would take him back to the MRI machine. From there, they would give him gas over his nose to make him fall asleep and then they would insert the IV. He told us they would place a small tube in his throat for breathing, but assured us he would be breathing the whole time on his own.

The anesthesiologist came in about 8:10 am and told us the MRI would take about an hour and that they would come get us and bring us back to recovery as he was waking up We will never forget that feeling as they whisked him out of our arms. I was helpless and wondering if they would take care of my baby. I hoped they would love him and be tender with him. Its so hard as a parent to trust someone to take your baby away from you. Tears flowed down my cheeks as I knew I had to just trust that these doctors are truly here to help us and get our Atticus feeling better. A feeling of warmth and peace came over us and our doubts and fears subsided.

Mama Bear was watching that clock for the hour mark! An hour passed and my heart was panicking; I longed to hold that sweet boy in my arms and snuggle him. At 9:25 I could hear my baby screaming! I think the hardest part of it all was hearing him crying and not being able to be there snuggling him and comforting him. I kept thinking why aren't we back there in recovery, they told us they would bring us back and let him wake up to us! I was pacing the hall. Five minutes felt like an eternity and I could hear his cry getting closer and I turned around and the nurse was carrying our boy to us! Oh, the joy I felt in that moment to hold him in my arms! I kissed his forehead and held his sweet hands. He was still pretty sedated, but I treasured this moment. I ran my fingers through his strawberry blonde curls and I thanked my Heavenly Father for returning our boy safely back to us! My heart was so full of love and gratitude! We were just so incredibly happy to hold him!

We sat with him for about 30 minutes and then changed him back into his jammies and headed to our home.

The night before the MRI I remember bathing our sweet Atticus and rubbing lotion on his tiny body and putting his jammies on him. I brushed his hair and played with his curls and I couldn’t help but hold him a little tighter that night. Its incredible the love that one can have for a child. It is indescribable and yet so intense and strong that my heart physically feels like it could burst. Our kids are our whole world!
The morning of the MRI I remember both Caleb and I feeling such peace. Both Caleb and I truly had thought deep down that the MRI would come back clear and wondered what the next course of action would be.  What tests would they do next?

On our way home from the hospital we called our doctor to let him know the MRI was complete and to please call us as soon as the results came through. We were thinking we probably wouldn’t hear anything about the report until Monday and we were looking forward to a fun family weekend together.

We had been home for about 30 minutes when I received a call from our doctor. He asked if Caleb and I were both home and if he could speak with us at our home in the next five minutes. My heart fell to the floor; I could barely stand up as I rushed to tell Caleb. When I told Caleb the doctor was coming to our home,  his face lost all sign of color and we both knew that the news wasn’t good.

The doctor came in and sat with us in our family room. I remember the first thing I said to him was I know this is not good news. We were absolutely terrified of the information we were about to receive. He handed the report to Caleb - he knows Caleb is in veterinary medicine school and would understand the report. As tears streamed down my sweet husband's face, I knew this was something awful! The doctor explained that there was a tumor found on the right side of Atticus’s brain measuring about 3 inches in diameter. We all cried together. Even the doctor cried and sympathized with us. We asked what the next course of action would be. Our doctor told us he had already called a pediatric neurosurgeon from Spokane, Washington and that he would contact us as soon as he had further news.
Mid-afternoon Friday we received the call from the pediatric Neurosurgeon. He wants to meet with him Monday to go over all our options. He also had our doctor inform us to plan on surgery within a week.
 Measures ~ 7x6x5.5 cm

Our family is in the grips of disbelief. There are so many unknowns and we are terrified of the pain and suffering our sweet Atticus will have to endure. Even though we have our fears, it is comforting to know we have an army of people supporting us - Atticus's Army! We know we won’t be able to get through this without the help, love, support and prayers of each one of you. We also know and believe we have a loving savior by our side! We know he will carry us through and we will rely on him now more than ever before! We love each and every one of you! Thank you for the calls, messages, texts, flowers, dinners and so much more. You have already carried us through some of our hardest moments. Keep praying! We believe in the power of prayer! 
Thank you for being a part of our journey with us and for being a part of ATTICUS’S ARMY!   


4 comments:

  1. You have our Prayers. I'm so sorry; this truly would be scary. May your faith burn bright.

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  2. Oh Emily! My heart aches for you! You will truly be in my thoughts and prayers! May Heavenly Father comfort Atticus and his sweet family!!!!

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  3. Prayers for Atticus and his loving parents.

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  4. I just heard the sad news about your baby boy. I can't imagine what you guys are going through. I hope everything goes well tomorrow. We will keep sweet Atticus in our prayers.

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