Day 1
To Atticus's Army:
Our
sweet precious Atticus came into this world 20 months ago and has been
an absolute joy and treasure to our family. He is a happy easy-going
baby that loves to be outside, throwing and playing with balls, loves
stuffed animals and is obsessed with balloons (which he calls “moons”)!
A
few months ago we noticed some changes in our sweet boy. After several
visits to the pediatrician in May, they determined that he had
contracted viral meningitis. Atticus was very sick for about two weeks.
He started to feel better and about mid-July we headed to Disneyland for
a much-needed family vacation. Shortly after, he was diagnosed with
hand, foot, and mouth disease and was ill again for 10 days. He didn’t
seem to be getting better, in fact, he seemed to be getting worse. He
was vomiting, irritable and had a high fever. The doctors wanted us to
take him into the Emergency Room; they were concerned he had contracted
hydrocephalus!
The
ER determined that he had a GI infection and sent us home with meds.
Exhausted, downtrodden and miserable, our family moved the next day to
Pullman, Washington to finish Atticus's Daddy's Veterinary Medicine
Schooling at WSU.
We
arrived in Pullman and our dear Atticus just did not seem to be
improving as he should. His whole personality was changing. He wasn’t
sleeping, eating or drinking, he was uncomfortable most the time and
would whine or cry most the day. We were desperate to make our baby
comfortable in whatever way we could. We determined that Atticus should
see the best doctor we could find in Pullman.
Daddy
took him into the doctor and explained what our family has been going
through with poor Atticus. Our doctor ordered Atticus an MRI, which was
scheduled for the following week. Atticus would need to be sedated by IV
to make sure he was completely still for the imaging.
Friday August 26th, 2016
We
arrived at the Pullman Regional Hospital for his MRI at 7 AM. They
took us back to our own room and took his weight and height. He weighs
24 lbs. now, which is about 3.5 pounds less than he weighed 3 months
ago. The nurse brought in his little tiger gown and a warm hospital
blanket to wrap around him to help him feel comfortable and calm. The
anesthesiologist came in and told us he was a grandpa, which was
comforting! He explained what was going to happen during the procedure;
he would first administer a drug that is a nasal spray to relax him.
Atticus was uneasy and emotional. We didn’t blame him! The
anesthesiologist explained that after Atticus was relaxed he would take
him back to the MRI machine. From there, they would give him gas over
his nose to make him fall asleep and then they would insert the IV. He
told us they would place a small tube in his throat for breathing, but
assured us he would be breathing the whole time on his own.
The
anesthesiologist came in about 8:10 am and told us the MRI would take
about an hour and that they would come get us and bring us back to
recovery as he was waking up We will never forget that feeling as they
whisked him out of our arms. I was helpless and wondering if they would
take care of my baby. I hoped they would love him and be tender with
him. Its so hard as a parent to trust someone to take your baby away
from you. Tears flowed down my cheeks as I knew I had to just trust that
these doctors are truly here to help us and get our Atticus feeling
better. A feeling of warmth and peace came over us and our doubts and
fears subsided.
Mama
Bear was watching that clock for the hour mark! An hour passed and my
heart was panicking; I longed to hold that sweet boy in my arms and
snuggle him. At 9:25 I could hear my baby screaming! I think the hardest
part of it all was hearing him crying and not being able to be there
snuggling him and comforting him. I kept thinking why aren't we back
there in recovery, they told us they would bring us back and let him
wake up to us! I was pacing the hall. Five minutes felt like an eternity
and I could hear his cry getting closer and I turned around and the
nurse was carrying our boy to us! Oh, the joy I felt in that moment to
hold him in my arms! I kissed his forehead and held his sweet hands. He
was still pretty sedated, but I treasured this moment. I ran my fingers
through his strawberry blonde curls and I thanked my Heavenly Father for
returning our boy safely back to us! My heart was so full of love and
gratitude! We were just so incredibly happy to hold him!
We sat with him for about 30 minutes and then changed him back into his jammies and headed to our home.
The
night before the MRI I remember bathing our sweet Atticus and rubbing
lotion on his tiny body and putting his jammies on him. I brushed his
hair and played with his curls and I couldn’t help but hold him a little
tighter that night. Its incredible the love that one can have for a
child. It is indescribable and yet so intense and strong that my heart
physically feels like it could burst. Our kids are our whole world!
The
morning of the MRI I remember both Caleb and I feeling such peace. Both
Caleb and I truly had thought deep down that the MRI would come back
clear and wondered what the next course of action would be. What tests
would they do next?
On
our way home from the hospital we called our doctor to let him know the
MRI was complete and to please call us as soon as the results came
through. We were thinking we probably wouldn’t hear anything about the
report until Monday and we were looking forward to a fun family weekend
together.
We
had been home for about 30 minutes when I received a call from our
doctor. He asked if Caleb and I were both home and if he could speak
with us at our home in the next five minutes. My heart fell to the
floor; I could barely stand up as I rushed to tell Caleb. When I told
Caleb the doctor was coming to our home, his face lost all sign of
color and we both knew that the news wasn’t good.
The
doctor came in and sat with us in our family room. I remember the first
thing I said to him was I know this is not good news. We were
absolutely terrified of the information we were about to receive. He
handed the report to Caleb - he knows Caleb is in veterinary medicine
school and would understand the report. As tears streamed down my sweet
husband's face, I knew this was something awful! The doctor explained
that there was a tumor found on the right side of Atticus’s brain
measuring about 3 inches in diameter. We all cried together. Even the
doctor cried and sympathized with us. We asked what the next course of
action would be. Our doctor told us he had already called a pediatric
neurosurgeon from Spokane, Washington and that he would contact us as
soon as he had further news.
Mid-afternoon
Friday we received the call from the pediatric Neurosurgeon. He wants
to meet with him Monday to go over all our options. He also had our
doctor inform us to plan on surgery within a week.
Measures ~ 7x6x5.5 cm
Our
family is in the grips of disbelief. There are so many unknowns and we
are terrified of the pain and suffering our sweet Atticus will have to
endure. Even though we have our fears, it is comforting to know we have
an army of people supporting us - Atticus's Army! We know we won’t be
able to get through this without the help, love, support and prayers of
each one of you. We also know and believe we have a loving savior by our
side! We know he will carry us through and we will rely on him now more
than ever before! We love each and every one of you! Thank you for the
calls, messages, texts, flowers, dinners and so much more. You have
already carried us through some of our hardest moments. Keep praying! We
believe in the power of prayer!
Thank you for being a part of our
journey with us and for being a part of ATTICUS’S ARMY!
Posts
You have our Prayers. I'm so sorry; this truly would be scary. May your faith burn bright.
ReplyDeleteOh Emily! My heart aches for you! You will truly be in my thoughts and prayers! May Heavenly Father comfort Atticus and his sweet family!!!!
ReplyDeletePrayers for Atticus and his loving parents.
ReplyDeleteI just heard the sad news about your baby boy. I can't imagine what you guys are going through. I hope everything goes well tomorrow. We will keep sweet Atticus in our prayers.
ReplyDelete