The ugly face of Chemo....

7:10:00 PM Atticus Army 0 Comments

Hey army,

It has felt so good being home this week from the hospital! It makes us feel more normal and it's nice to actually be parents and be with all our kids! We have loved making dinners, school lunches, walking the kids to and from school and reading them bedtime stories! We have still been at the hospital lots for clinic and appointments but usually, that's during the day while the kids have been at school.

I shaved my head like Atticus.  When he saw me he just chuckled, it was really funny, at night when I was laying by him every once and a while a little hand would reach up and rub my head.  I think he likes it.

We had no appointments Thursday so we just enjoyed our time at home and being outside!
Atticus loves the outdoors, he has from the time he was born! We had this amazing company that is based out of Orem, Utah called Tentsile send us this incredible tree tent for Atticus! We were blown away by their kindness in giving us this fun tent for Atticus to play in outside! When Atticus's numbers are low we can't really go places like playgrounds! He's at that age where he loves to play and be outside so we were more than thrilled when we received this tent because it enables us to take Atticus outside to play and have fun! Thank you so much Tentsile! Atticus is very happy playing outside in your tent!

It's like our own portable tree house!

Friday we noticed Atticus's temperature had slowly been creeping up throughout the morning! Anyone who knows about cancer knows that a fever is NOT a good sign! We went to the clinic Friday and had labs and met with nutrition about his NG-tube he would be receiving that day. Labs dropped quite a bit, especially his ANC (absolute Neutrophil count) remember these are your first line of defense against any type of infection! Atticus's ANC was ZERO on Friday and his platelets were down to 41... So transfusion time would come soon! We just need to watch him very closely!

Waiting for our appointment to get his NG tube in.

Just after he got it in, He was not impressed!!!

After a bit, he was ok with it.

Atticus got his feeding tube placed on Friday as well! Mom was NOT a fan of that! In fact, I thought it was awful how they place it and shove it up their nose and feed it down their throat! It was a very hard sight, to just sit back and watch as a mother! Atticus was so upset and I was just trying to hold it together and be strong for my sweet boy! I just kept thinking to myself how unfair this is for Atticus! It's the hardest thing as parents to just sit back and have to watch your child be in pain and suffer! Sweet Atticus has no idea what is going on and he just looks up at us in fear of why they are doing these awful things to him! It's truly the most heartwrenching, helpless feeling in the entire world!

We love Atticus so much and all any parent wants is to protect their children and keep them safe. Unfortunately for us keeping our son here with us and safe is not all happy and fun! Our days are filled with lots of worry, sadness, and tears! Don't get us wrong there have been so many joys and happy moments too! We truly feel beyond blessed and have felt our saviors love every second along this journey!  But there are many things that we just wish we didn't have to deal with.

As the day progressed Friday so did Atticus's fever! We had just got home from the hospital and his temperature reached 101!! We called our oncology team and they said to take him back to Seattle Children's Hospital where he would be admitted to the ER there! I rushed in and packed Caleb a Go bag and off he went to the hospital with Atticus! They kept him in the ER for a few hours and monitored him and started the IV antibiotics. They drew labs and did a lab culture to watch for the next few days to make sure it doesn't grow bacteria!

Waiting in the ER.

His temperature was still running 101, they gave him some Tylenol to help with the fever and also try to help bring his heart rate down. Our little man likes to keep things interesting and was running a pretty high heart rate which medically is termed tachycardia!  They finally got us transferred up to the cancer care unit around 9PM! I stayed and got Caleb settled and then I headed home to stay with the kids for the night!

Caleb has been absolutely incredible along this journey! I don't know many dads who would stay the night at the hospital and sleep in the hospital bed! Caleb stays with Atticus and handles everything!  He is the most loving father! I swear that it is Caleb's divine calling to be a father, he exemplifies the most joy when he's with his children! Even though it has been very difficult, this whole experience has brought our whole entire family closer! It's hard to explain the love you gain for each other especially a spouse when you go through something so big like this! I love Caleb even more now than ever before, and I never thought that was even possible because I already loved him so much before! We are stronger, more patient, and more faithful than ever before!

Saturday was just another day in the hospital, we didn't do much but just sit and snuggle Atticus all day! He still isn't feeling the best so we just relaxed most the day! Atticus had a blood transfusion early in morning on Saturday and then later on he had a platelet transfusion. After both transfusions, his labs went up! His Hematocrit went from a level of 21 up to 31 after transfusion. His platelets went from a 21 to 81 after transfusion! So that was good news that his numbers went up! Now it's just waiting for his ANC or white blood cells to go up!


Atticus's oxygen levels keep dipping when he is sleeping so they have been putting oxygen on his while he sleeps to keep his oxygen levels up! They aren't sure why they keep dipping because they have done every test possible, even did a chest x-ray to rule out anything crazy and everything looks normal and great! Atticus just likes to keep things interesting! 

He was not a fand of the oxygen tube.

Sunday we all came to the hospital to watch Lds General Conference as a family! It is so nice to be together as a family! Caleb and I have had a family tradition since we've been married to make home-made cinnamon rolls for conference weekend! This is a tradition passed down from his mom and we love it! There has not been a single year our entire marriage that we have not fulfilled this tradition, until now! Unfortunately, this year it just wasnt possible in a hospital room!

We made the best of it and last night I went to a local bakery and picked up cinnamon rolls for our family to enjoy while watching conference! So we still kind of fulfilled the tradition anyways!! It was a wonderful General Conference and always leaves us feeling uplifted, strengthened and at peace!

We all cuddled in the bed to watch general conference.

He is always so happy to see his Brother and Sister.

Not quite as good as home made ones, but they will work.

We found out this afternoon from the Oncology team that they had decided to keep Atticus here at the hospital until his White Blood Cell counts go up. They want to keep a close watch on him and make sure his little body recovers fully before they send us home!They are currently at ZERO so it could be a couple days or up to a week for those to come back up! Even though we were only planning on a stay of 48 hours, we are okay with it. We would rather they monitor him closely and we are grateful for their cautiousness in making sure Atticus continues to get healthy!

We are grateful for all the kind packages we are still receiving! Please know we are so thankful and grateful for each one of you and your love and support! We often get many text messages and phone calls! We try to respond to many of them but if we miss yours we are sorry! Please know that it means so much to us and your messages and support are so appreciated and needed! Thank you for your continued support, prayers and love! We love OUR ARMY!! Every one of you helps us stay strong! We are remaining strong and fighting this battle right along with our sweet Atticus! He is a fighter and so brave!